🤔 The dark side, your shadow self, it all sounds a bit ominous doesn’t it? Not something you really want to dive right in and discover, who would?

So let’s shine a little light onto this mysterious and what appears to be a distasteful part of ourselves.

It only appears this way because of the labelling, words are powerful and can have you believing there is something horrible about this. There is a tendency to label things as good and bad or dark and light.

You can see why you may think it’s something to be avoided as it appears so unpleasant.

You may know me well enough by now to know that I think a little outside the box (well, a lot actually) and prefer my own definitions to share with you. I’ll choose more natural and realistic meanings to give stuff. I won’t frighten you with words or make something out to be difficult or painful when it clearly isn’t.

The only frightening thing about the “dark” or “shadow self” is the fear itself, the labelling of it.

In reality it’s all about being human.

Human beings have a full scale of behaviours, thoughts and feelings from wonderful love and light, all the way to the other end, of nastiness and dark. Fullstop.

You, me, everyone. We then have a choice what we entertain.

Some days you’ll be the light bringer, other days you’ll be full of pain and shooting pain darts and negativity. Some days you’ll be understanding, on others you will judge and criticise.

Some days you’ll be open and welcoming to people, on others you will shut the door that firmly you will not accept them at all.

Does this make you feel uncomfortable? That’s ok, it’s normal. There is a tendency to not want to look at the things you don’t like about yourself. You’ve labelled them as “bad” because of your upbringing and the conditioning of society, you’ve told yourself that there is something wrong with you and you should be “better”.

Ermmm … no, you’re human!

Accepting that you can be anywhere on the scale is so freeing, it’s no longer “wrong” or “bad”. It just is.

You can make choices about how you react to this stuff, you can improve how you feel inside but there is absolutely no point in continuing to deny or make wrong the stuff that just happens.

I really don’t get why this is all made out to be so mysterious, keeping you stuck and confused and wondering how you can rid yourself of all this horrible stuff inside. This leads to over analysis and trying to work out how you can be a better person. The pain of this is intense.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re a human being.

There’s lots of chat around the shadows self being stuff we’re carrying from previous lives, family trauma and lessons we’ve come here to learn.

Maybe, who knows.

One thing I do know is that if you analyse this, you won’t make it better. Trying to uncover all the scary darkness and shadows won’t actually work anyway. If you were meant to know it, you would.

What does work is to move forward from now, with allowing whatever is there and moment by moment you start to make choices about what you focus on and what you don’t.

To accept that YES, you have a tendency to judge, criticise, be miserable, moan, complain or whatever …… and? Why make this a problem? Why label yourself as wrong, incorrect or not good enough.

You’re a human being.. this is not a perfect state so give up the need to make it one.

You can always get help, you can always make changes to the way that you respond and the way that you feel.

Shadow self stuff will show itself with family and in your intimate relationships, it just does. They are the mirrors for you to see what’s going on inside of you. Not “wrong” stuff, just stuff!

If it’s causing you a problem in your intimate relationship, get yourself over here but be quick the doors CLOSE tomorrow, don’t miss this one off very low price: