I received a question this week that I know a lot of you will be able to relate to.
“I struggle with relationships with people in general. I lose friends, connections go weird, like everything’s fine one minute and then the next thing I get a different vibe from people and it all feels odd. Then they move away.
My personal relationship can be a nightmare, he won’t support me emotionally and generally, just walks away or gets angry. I just need a hug, why can’t he do that? I just don’t know what to do about it all, can you help?”
This is a very important subject, it’s a deep one with a fascinating answer.
You know I’ll tell you the way things are, I won’t use a pacifying, ‘there there there’ approach. This is because that approach won’t change anything, it will leave you exactly where you are and stuck with the same problem.
Self awareness is the key and this is what I’m going to deal with today. Its a few truth bombs being dropped to help you.
There are certain problems you’re painfully aware of right now and others hidden from view. Let’s take a look.
The Energy Problem
You know you have certain difficulties being an Empath, I don’t really need to tell you about those, you know them so well .. the energy thing, being off balance, being very emotional.. the feely feels that are so intense. You just feel everything.
Other bloody people
Then you have other things happen, like people problems, relationship problems and you wonder what’s going on here. Why are other people so difficult? You don’t understand what they do and say, it’s just a mystery .. a painful one!
It’s like … haven’t you got enough to deal with? It’s hard, it’s difficult and it makes you feel negative and low, drained and just exhausted.
You know you’re truthful, you say things as they are, you’re deep and want to talk about the deep and meaningful stuff in fact the day to day mindless chat can feel like nails down a blackboard.
This is normal isn’t it? .. it’s just the way things are right now. Being truthful can have negative consequences though and so can the need for intense and deep conversations.
It’s a fact isn’t it? You know stuff! You can see consequences to behaviour and what’s going to happen. You can see where people are going wrong and you just have to tell them. You can get intensely focused on someone else, you’re right in their energy, can feel their feelings and want desperately to help them.
There’s some other stuff that you need to know, stuff that needs to be resolved urgently because the negative consequences of all this are bigger than you realise.
Feeling other people’s energy
You feel other people’s energy but what you may not realise is that they also feel yours.
Being so caught up and consumed with the difficulty that you experience will keep certain things out of awareness. This is one of them.
You know what this is like all too well to feel knocked and off balance energetically. If you’re unsure, confused, chaotic, negative what will this feel like to others? Is this pleasant to be around? I get it, you haven’t been able to help this (this is not a beating yourself up exercise here ….. And the offer is there now to get it sorted.)
In the same way that you can’t vocalise or understand exactly what the imbalanced energy is that you’re experiencing ….. what’s it’s caused by or what it looks like, it’s the same for others.
They may not be as aware as you are, they may not be able to process it as an energy problem, but they will unconsciously react to your energy. They feel it and without understanding it they may move away, withdraw, get edgy and anxious or angry. Leaving you feeling frustrated as to why you’ve got this double whammy of upset on top of feeling crappy already.
The Feely feels and being SO SO emotional
Other people don’t know how to handle this, it’s very wearing and tiring for them. It can be frustrating and painful.
As an Empath your emotions are very important, in fact they are top of the list for how you react to and process life. It can be quite a shock to understand that other people don’t process life like this at all. They are not driven by raging emotions like the ones that are happening in your body. They don’t get it! This may very well feel frustrating to you right now. I remember thinking “Well, why can’t they? they’ve got the same choices as me”.
It’s actually as difficult for them to understand you as it is for you to understand them right now. Wanting other people to understand you is like you having to understand them. To live a more balanced life can be a little beyond comprehension from where you are at now.
You will have a tendency to look to others to help you resolve your emotional difficulty yet they haven’t got the answers. They’re not like you. This causes an intense frustration for other people. They will feel helpless to assist you and possibly could feel like they’ve failed.
You can learn to turn to yourself for the emotional resolution that you’re seeking. AND You can learn to not be as emotional… yep, it’s true!
Negativity and over analysing
Again, other people can feel this and it makes them wary and a bit helpless to help. I know you haven’t been able to do anything about it either. This is not your fault.. it’s just the way it is right now ….. no judgement please.
What does your negativity and constant thinking feel like to them? Are you available or are you consumed in an internal world of chaos? Do you notice others and what they’re really saying? Does this allow time to be there with them . really there and present? Does it make them feel positive or does their energy start to match yours?
What’s it like for you to be around negativity? How is it different when someone is around yours?
You can do something about this though.
Intensity and being truthful.
How important is this to an Empath!
I always thought intensity as an a Empath was a good thing, a positive trait, yet from other people’s perspective it absolutely isn’t.
Focusing in on someone else and trying to fix and assist or tell them they way things are can feel like criticism. To others it can feel controlling. It can feel like they’re not good enough as they are
. The unconscious message you send to them is “I don’t trust your own ability to work things out for yourself “ 😮 , it’s like treating someone as a child, someone who needs to be told. From their point of view this is very disempowering.
Advice should only ever be given when you’ve been asked for it. This will probably make you cringe ….. like HOW am I going to be able to do that? There are solutions.
This is the stuff I’m teaching you in Energy Busters, to get comfortable with that change … ( the doors are closing tomorrow, just so you know)
Invading people’s space
Concentrating and focusing on others, their issues, what they’re thinking what they’re feeling and what they’re doing …… this is like walking into their house uninvited .. you wouldn’t do that would you?
Yet daily this is what you’re doing energetically. This feels invasive to other people, like they haven’t got a private space. You need to stay out, the consequences are not good. How would you feel to have your private space invaded, prodded, analysed, fixed? Take a moment to consider this.
This would be like having someone wrapping their arms around you and not letting go 😫.
I say all this to you with understanding, I’ve done it myself. It’s only through delving deep into my own psyche, my ego, my mind and brain that I’ve come to understand the consequences of how I was acting. And it’s totally understandable, I don’t judge myself for that .. I don’t want you to either, how can you have done any different?
The pain and confusion and difficulty of it all takes you over and you live from that place. It stops you seeing anything other than that.
Empath energy problems create far more discord and upset that you have realised.
It affects your relationships, your friendships and interactions with your kids, your family and acquaintances. It affects how you behave with other people …. other people don’t like it, it makes them feel uncomfortable. This is why things can go wrong.
You have far more control over how your interactions with people go than you can possibly imagine right now. When you learn how to stop doing this stuff, you see your relationships changing.. big time!
The change is internal …… you are in control there’s just some new stuff to learn.
This is what Energy Busters is about
- We’re looking at people fixing, what’s behind this and how you can comfortably stop,
- Your own emotional state and balancing your own emotions.
- To stop being affected by external energy.
- To create a healthy boundary and getting you back to you. This is not imaginary, it’s a shift that happens inside of you where you perceive things differently.
- Discovering your internal power of choice over all things, your emotions, your energy, other people’s energy and how you react to people and circumstances.
Looking at the consequences of it all like this …. do you need to sort it out now?
I’m not about hustle or trying to persuade you to do anything, I’m here to let you know what’s available to you. I don’t want you to continue to suffer though. What I do want is for you to have a click on the button below. Your future self will thank you for it :
Much love, Jan xxx
p.s It’s your last chance to get involved as the doors are closing TOMORROW.