Do you know that all of the stuff that you’re reading out there in “Empathland” is designed to keep you stuck? The messaging you’re unconsciously receiving is causing you to believe lies about yourself as an Empath.

I know this because I was stuck there too! My own pain and struggle while trying to get answers and just feel better has been the catalyst for my passion to help you. To let you know that being an Empath is not a burden.

The hellhole problems that seem to come with this gift are not because you are an Empath but in fact are other things entirely. One of these is the messages coming from Empathland and the spiritual community.

This makes my job a real challenge, needing to break down the walls of strongly held beliefs. A culture of beliefs means a community of people all believing the same thing. This has a huge energetic weight behind it. You will have fallen into this pull of a group energy without even knowing it’s happened.


It’s true that the symptoms you are having are awful, the pain and struggle of it all is immense and all consuming. I lived in this state for so many years falling into the Empath trap as everyone else does. A trap of believing what I was reading.


We tend to do this, automatically believe people who have an authority on a subject, not questioning whether they have in fact healed or sorted themselves out! You can believe people who don’t have an authority on the subject too, other empaths in Empath groups for example. People who make suggestions based on what they are “trying“ to do.

I’m asking you to open your mind to a possibility here. To not listen to a community that is invested in the idea of “stuck”, that encourages the idea that Empath means being burdened and helpless.

Let’s look at the messaging that you’ve been believing:

Being an Empath is hard

NO! The symptoms you’re living with right now is hard! The symptoms are not because you’re an Empath. Being sensitive and feeling the energy around you does not have to negatively impact you, drain you or make you miserable .

Healing is hard 

NO, the attempt to heal through thinking is hard, this is not healing though, this is analysing . Healing is resolution, moving out of pain, peace, freedom. This is easy when you do it with help.

You should give and give.. you should help others …. well yes this is good and in your healing you will still want to do this but this message is encouraging you to not look within where ALL your solutions lie. It’s suggesting your purpose in life is one where you outward focus on others. To look inward feels uncomfortable right now because it’s become your “normal”, it’s been taught that this is the way to go, yet it’s not natural.

You are broken and need fixing

No you you’re not and no you don’t. The only thing that is wrong is the belief that there’s something wrong with you.

Your thought and belief patterns have become off balance due to the conditioning of your life, society, your parents, the media etc. The way that you think now is because of this, it’s normal, you’ve done what every human being does.

People don’t accept the fact that you’re an Empath, people don’t like it.

This is rubbish. Some people may be afraid if it because they don’t understand it and that’s everything to do with THEM, not you.

Generally though people object to the behaviour that comes from this, the energetic charge you send out of your own non-approval. They will react to the negativity, the beating yourself up, the lack of confidence, the seeing you suffering, that’s what they object to, not that you’re an Empath.

I have no need to tell anyone that I’m an Empath, when you do, it’s seeking approval from others. This approval needs to come from you.

The “There, there” pacifying approach to Empaths

The belief that Empaths are delicate creatures and can’t cope. That telling the truth to an Empath will cause them to melt into a puddle of emotional distress (well, ok this could happen, I’ve created a few puddles in my time 😂

The truth is that Empaths are very strong people, you’ve had to be!

I rarely use the word toxic as it’s a very harsh word, yet the personal development industry and the Empath Community that buys into this is toxic, it’s damaging to your mental health.


It’s a poison that seeps into your psyche with a message “you need fixing”, “there’s something wrong with you. If you need self help books then this indicates you need help to fix yourself.. if you need fixing this means there is something wrong with you.


Right now, undoubtedly you feel that there is something wrong and there is! But it’s not what you have thought it was. It’s not you, it’s some false beliefs and ideas you have about yourself, about life, about other people.

There is nothing wrong with YOU! Fundamentally you’re more than ok as you are.

In fact you’re so normal you’d be amazed 😁.

So where is the message that you can sort this out? Where is the reassurance that you can live a positive life as an Empath? Where is the butt kick to say “come on .. DO this?” (Apart from on this page I mean 😉)

Do you see what I mean about the messaging that you have been receiving?

When you believe this stuff you will unconsciously believe there’s nothing you can do, so even when a solution is under your nose you won’t take action because you believe it’s not possible. What would be the point?

Thing is, the memes you see on social media read very nicely, you think “yes, I can relate to this” but the actual message is extremely negative. And it’s all keeping you exactly where you are.

I’m not suggesting that this is the actual intention of anyone .. to keep you in pain. They probably don’t even know the consequences themselves. They haven’t understood the Empath Trap because they are also in it.

If you keep yourself believing there is something wrong with you, you will search to be fixed. You search in places where other people also need to be fixed (or believe that they do). This then reinforces the belief and a community belief is formed. Being an Empath is hard, it’s impossible to do anything about it, there are no solutions etc.


The symptoms you have right now are caused by:


  • Your sensitivity growing up, others didn’t understand it and you didn’t receive the nurturing and education you needed.
  • Your emotional overwhelm growing up, the people around you were not so in touch with their emotions and weren’t able to support you through it. You ended up feeling like there was something wrong with you because you weren’t like them
  • You don’t like yourself very much, this causes you to other people focus and live in other people’s energy. You avoid yourself and therefore have no boundary.
  • Emotions have been so important in your life that you live according to how you feel. Your responses and reactions to other people and behaviour are taken personally and hurt A LOT! It is the depth of your feelings and the importance that you put on this that puts you in conflict with the world. Emotions are something that you don’t have to constantly battle with, you can create a balanced emotional state, again with help.
  • Because your emotions weren’t acceptable to others you’ve jumped into your head instead .. it can be easier to try and live there than in the pain. You didn’t know what to do with your emotions so you started to overthink instead. This painful place to live will have you in negativity and overwhelm, and still not find the solutions or create the peace that you crave.


So are you going to stay in the Empath Trap? Believing that pain and suffering is your lot in life? That it somehow will give you a reward in heaven because it’s going to make you a better person?

Or do you just say “Enough of this bullshit! I’m doing something about it!”

If you’re ready  you can work with me here:

Much love, Jan xxxx